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Post by Maggie on Mar 23, 2019 23:10:46 GMT
My name is Maggie and I just lost my husband of 36 years to cancer. He was 64 and I feel so overwhelmed and disoriented. So lonely and brutal is this loss. I am filled with uncertainty, as well as guilt. He was a very strong man and did a lot for me. Jack of many trades and took care of so much. He was funny and a very skilled handyman. I feel ill most of the time. I was hoping to connect with anyone who has recently lost a spouse and is suffering as I am, as well as anyone who has gone through the dark time of their loss for coping help and support. Please respond if able. Thank you, Maggie
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Post by mary85 on Mar 28, 2019 20:40:47 GMT
Hi Maggie. I'm Mary. I lost my husband to cancer on 3/8. I am numb, overwhelmed, sad but I'm functioning. I'm working to control anxiety. We were together 19 yrs. We did everything together except work. I'm trying to figure out who I am now.
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Post by George’s Soulmate on Apr 11, 2019 2:32:11 GMT
I lost my husband on 08/21/19. He battled and suffered from cancer. We were together 36 years. We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary on 07/23/19. He was my soulmate. I miss him so much. I am finding the grief attacks are getting worse but I can talk about his passing without crying every time I mention or think of it. I internalize my feelings most of the time because I don’t want to burden my family and friends with my grief or make them feel sad. My husband was loved by many. He was funny, vibrant, and so full of life. He lit up a room when he walked into it. I always was so happy to see him even when I was mad at him for some silly or stupid reason. I can see him smiling and doing something silly in my mind and that helps sometimes. Other times it makes me miss him more. I came to this forum because I think I am spiraling and becoming depressed. Lately I am not able to sleep at night or for any duration of time and crying constantly on the weekends and at night when I am not working and alone. I am sick to my stomach at times from all of the stress from grieving. Up to this point I felt I was stronger and coping with it in a more productive manner. I’m hoping writing this helps give me some relief. Time will tell.........
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Post by George’s Soulmate on Apr 11, 2019 2:35:57 GMT
I lost my husband on 08/21/19. He battled and suffered from cancer. We were together 36 years. We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary on 07/23/19. He was my soulmate. I miss him so much. I am finding the grief attacks are getting worse but I can talk about his passing without crying every time I mention or think of it. I internalize my feelings most of the time because I don’t want to burden my family and friends with my grief or make them feel sad. My husband was loved by many. He was funny, vibrant, and so full of life. He lit up a room when he walked into it. I always was so happy to see him even when I was mad at him for some silly or stupid reason. I can see him smiling and doing something silly in my mind and that helps sometimes. Other times it makes me miss him more. I came to this forum because I think I am spiraling and becoming depressed. Lately I am not able to sleep at night or for any duration of time and crying constantly on the weekends and at night when I am not working and alone. I am sick to my stomach at times from all of the stress from grieving. Up to this point I felt I was stronger and coping with it in a more productive manner. I’m hoping writing this helps give me some relief. Time will tell.........
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Post by lostwithouthim on Apr 19, 2019 10:37:08 GMT
I lost my partner on 3/10/19, 41 days ago. I need help, I too feel like a burden on my friends, the ones who are still around. I am having trouble coping with life. I started a job and quit the first day. I'm just not ready. Yes, I choose to stay in our home each day, listening to music and crying. I feel angry that I have a completely different life now, not by my choice. I'm having a hard time accepting that.
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Post by afhaviland on May 8, 2019 19:36:20 GMT
My husband died suddenly on March 20,2019 of cardiac arrest. I am so lost, my world ended that day. I am a teacher and so was my husband - we were subbing. We were never apart we worked together we did everything together. I have tried to go back to work but some days I can't bear beinging in the classroom. I cry everyday. I have his cremains and that is comforting but all I want is to be with him.
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Post by Shar on Jun 20, 2019 18:30:45 GMT
To all who have posted, my love to you and myself. I lost my partner of 16 years on 8-28-18, I'm still crying, mostly everyday. Two months after I lost my partner, I broke my hip, and last week my mother died. There's a syndrome that occurs when lots of loss occurs together, but I think it's just more crying. I'm out of things to do. I'm so exhausted all the time, my house is a wreck because I'm handicapped and can't do much. I want to die, too. What a relief that would be.
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Post by marieandm on Feb 10, 2020 23:31:32 GMT
Wow. So much pain and deep sorrow. my husband of 40 years died 2 years ago and I still cry regularly. I remember his kindness,his ability to care for our family emotionally and financially and I struggle to get through every day. I have figured out our finances although he managed them better than I, but I'm getting better. I miss his touch so much-his hugs always made us all feel safe and cared for, his hands could fix anything, and his personality lit up any room he was in.
I don't possess his presence and because I worked so hard for 30 years of our marriage, I let friendships fall away and I find loneliness is overwhelming. Its funny, when he was alive, I could share moments of our lives together, but now that he is dead, I'm seen as not coping if I share a story from our 40 years together. Seems I am supposed to forget and move on. How does anyone move on after 40 years?
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Post by jaygee on Mar 30, 2020 19:55:17 GMT
My husband was my best friend and constant companion for over 47 years. We were supposed to grow old together. 67 is too young. It has been over a year but I can't seem to overcome the inertia that has settled in. Intellectually, I know that I should be socializing, going to all the old places we used to haunt, seeing friends. Reality is that nothing interests me anymore. I feel like I have to put my happy face on when talking to family and friends. I just hurt. I miss his magical hugs, tender kisses, and his loving presence. I hate when family members try to tell me that he is in a better place. I hate when people tell me this is a normal part of the grieving process. I just want him. How does one ever get over that? We spent most of our lives together. Now, there is no life.
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Post by christina on Apr 16, 2020 6:15:52 GMT
My name is Christina and I like all of you am mourning the loss of my husband. He was my bestfriend. I had known him since he was thirteen and I was fifteen. We were friends for eight years before we started dating and Christmas would've been our twelfth anniversary. Two days before Thanksgiving he shot himself in the face with a high powered hunting rifle. I was in the next room and the first to see that god awful mess. He was 32 years old. He was my world. We did everything together. We spent more time together than anyone I know. It hurts waking up without him by my side. I think the worst morning was when I punched the wall half asleep trying to hold someone who isn't there anymore. I have been strong for my family and especially my daughters. I am just so tired of all the nightmares. I wish I could have just one happy dream about us. I used to have dreams involving us in all kinds wonderful ways. I haven't had a good dream about him one time since he has passed. I try to remember all the wonderful things we did together or how happy we were. I know that I was blessed with true love. Which is something not everyone in this world will get to experience firsthand. We had an undeniable connection between us that was even visible to strangers. He new what I was thinking just by looking at me and vice versa. I just wish I knew what he was thinking that night. The trauma of lossing my soulmate in such a way should have left me as an empty husk. I feel like I am still here but not all of me. Almost like he took the best parts of me with him. I pray that I see his face when I finally leave this place. I hope he greets me with open arms and a heart full of love to heal my broken soul.
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Post by Maria on Apr 16, 2020 12:44:12 GMT
Hi Christina, my heart goes out to you. I lost 2 husbands within 5 years of each other but never in such heart-wrenching circumstances, I cannot possibly imagine what that must feel like. I can identify with your punching-the-wall-whilst-asleep episode, my worst one was expecting him to wake me up from a screaming nightmare (we used to do that for each other)and wondering why he was taking so long to do it, only to find out when my own screams finally got me awake, that he was no longer sleeping next to me.
I got myself moving again by telling myself those simple words, when I could no longer string 2 thoughts together:
"Just put one foot in front of the other" ... It has been just over 3 years since the second one passed, and I have slowly developed a secret pride at the fact that it hasn't killed me. It makes me feel just that little bit special, and just that little bit curious about what's around the corner (and by that I don't mean another partner!... not for me anymore!)
I know you are special too, and strong beyond words because you too are still here.
Hang in there as they say ... not many people have your strength, not many people would have made it as you have.
There will be something round the corner, and it might surprise you.
Take good care of yourself,
Love and Light xx
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Post by kristina on May 2, 2020 21:34:37 GMT
I lost my husband 2 and a half years ago and I still have a hard time with it. I prepared myself for his death, but it is still hard. He was 23 years older than me, but was one of the greatest men in my life, next to my father. We had 14 1/2 years together of marriage and were together for almost 17 years. He died due to Cancer and other health complications, but he is still close to me in my heart and soul. I have moved on with someone new in my life and they have been the best in helping me through this difficult time. I have my great days and then I have some really difficult days. But knowing he is with me is very comforting and I take refuge in knowing his presence is with me.
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Post by Kim on May 5, 2020 13:30:30 GMT
I lost my husband of 32 years to cancer on Feb 3 2020. I still cry every day. Sometimes I think the grief is actually getting worse. With the lockdown, I can't travel to see out of state kids. It's just me and my dog here. I try to keep busy cleaning so eventually - when this virus thing gets better - I can sell the house and move closer to family. Today for unknown reasons I am having a time of it but trying not to cry. Sometimes I know what triggered me, sometimes I don't. It is so strange that you know what death is so you know that there are no options, you know you can't bring them back and that's both strength (or resolve) and despair.
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Post by Vicki Lee on May 11, 2020 4:46:27 GMT
I've just finished reading all the 2020 posts and I am crying because it just doesn't seem right that people should have to suffer so much pain! But sadly life can really be painful at times. When my husband of 36 years suddenly died 9 months ago a friend gave me this note that helps me a lot:
"Grief never ends...but it changes.
It's a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith.
It is the price of LOVE."
Isn't that beautiful? And oh so true!
I feel like I've been getting more and more depressed since the first of the year and am now trying to get some professional help. The isolation resulting from the Corona virus has really intensified the grieving - my self quarantine at home is deafeningly quiet with just me and the dogs (thank God for the dogs!) - have to make an effort just to breathe or move at all.
Only time I come alive is when our Church family gets together online and we can see and talk to each other.
Well, Happy Mothers' Day. As my dear Mom always said "This too shall pass." I'm just clinging to, waiting on and trying to rest in the Lord.
I do know that deep breathing is a great antidote for anxiety and sleeplessness. Slow deep breath in through your nose, hold several seconds, then purse your lips and slowly push the air out of your mouth. Do this 3 or 4 times - I usually don't get to the 4th time because I've fallen asleep or have forgotten all about the anxiety. Hope this helps you, too.
My heart goes out to you all - God have mercy on us all!
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Post by Marjorie on Jun 18, 2020 16:55:18 GMT
I lost my husband on 08/21/19. He battled and suffered from cancer. We were together 36 years. We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary on 07/23/19. He was my soulmate. I miss him so much. I am finding the grief attacks are getting worse but I can talk about his passing without crying every time I mention or think of it. I internalize my feelings most of the time because I don’t want to burden my family and friends with my grief or make them feel sad. My husband was loved by many. He was funny, vibrant, and so full of life. He lit up a room when he walked into it. I always was so happy to see him even when I was mad at him for some silly or stupid reason. I can see him smiling and doing something silly in my mind and that helps sometimes. Other times it makes me miss him more. I came to this forum because I think I am spiraling and becoming depressed. Lately I am not able to sleep at night or for any duration of time and crying constantly on the weekends and at night when I am not working and alone. I am sick to my stomach at times from all of the stress from grieving. Up to this point I felt I was stronger and coping with it in a more productive manner. I’m hoping writing this helps give me some relief. Time will tell......... |
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